Our Life As Beautiful Feet

When I first thought about going to Uganda over a year ago, I thought that I was crazy. I never imagined myself loving that country the way that I do, I never imaged myself going two more times in seven months, and I never imagined bringing Zach and watching him fall in love with it alongside me.  But this is what happened.  I felt God pushing me there, poking at my heart day by day. As hard as it is for me to say and for you to hear, I felt like I was finally “home” again each time I stepped off the plane in Uganda and read the airport sign, “Welcome to the Pearl of Africa.” Each time I left, I quickly scanned the lay of the land and said, “It’s not goodbye Uganda, I’ll be home soon.”

I remember when I was in junior high school sitting in church on Sunday morning at Eastview Christian Church.  My youth pastor, Matt Reagan, spoke about his mission trip to Kenya with a group of senior high students. I bawled watching the videos and listening to the stories of what the Lord is doing over there. My heart ached to go. I believe it was there that God first planted this desire, this love…I just didn’t know it until now.

Over the past year, I know that you have seen a change in me because I have seen a change in myself. I now think of myself as a mother to the motherless and fatherless, as a servant, and most importantly a woman of God that wants to live for HIM and do with my life what HE plans for it. If you have read my blogs or know me personally, you also know that I have been struggling. Struggling with the fact that I have been to Uganda 3 times in 7 months and my school work has been affected negatively by it, struggling with the fact that I long to be with Liticia and Eldrine so bad, struggling with the fact that no one understands, and struggling with the uncertainty that teaching was in my future. I’ve been broken, knocked to my knees, and suffering for the beautiful and hurt people of Uganda the love that I have for it.

But the Lord is mighty and sovereign and never said that following him was going to be easy, that serving him would be a piece of cake. He blesses me with grace each day and humbles me to my core.  This summer Zach and I got the chance to serve together in Uganda.  Words cannot even describe what it felt like. My heart felt whole again. I watched Zach, the man I love, fall in love with each child that I had already fallen in love with and I watched the Lord mold him into the wonderful man of God that he is.  I watched him wake up each morning and race out of the house to go play with the babies at the children’s home. I watched him become a father to Eldrine and form an undeniable bond. I watched him sob with his head on my lab we drove away from the two children that have stitched their way into every fiber of our hearts. Now, Zach is in the exact same spot that I was in last January…where his thoughts of being in Uganda eat him alive, keeping him from having any energy to do anything but remember.

In a sense, our hearts were re-connected. Now, we both share this love for Uganda and know that our story is far from over…just beginning actually. We don’t know where our life will lead, where we will live, or who we will be parents too but the Lord has made it clear where we are to begin. All of the unknowns are terrifying…but the Lord knows and that is SO exciting, isn’t it?

Another part that has been changing is my lack of desire to teach.  I got completely burned out over the last year, going to class day in, day out.  I had a little boy that was autistic that I couldn’t reach and it honestly discouraged me, made me feel like I could never be a good teacher.  I dreaded starting the PDS program, I had no desire to teach but instead wanted to drop out, start my own non-profit, get married, and adopt.  Now, I obviously know that that is rushing things just a little bit and that is not in the Lord’s plans…otherwise those things would be happening right now. But instead, I love student teaching. My passion for children and learning is growing again, I no longer dread going to class each day, and I miss my students when I am not with them.  I do believe that teaching is going to be a huge part of my life one day, but I have been convicted over and over that the Lord is calling me to do something else for right now.

On my first trip to Uganda I met a husband and wife named Kari and Jason Segner from Texas. Jason is a paramedic/instructor in College Station and Kari is a stay at home mom.  They have four very young children and had a fifth, but lost Faith minutes after she was born.  Kari’s and my bond grew in March when we returned to Uganda together and shared a very small room.  We stayed up late chatting for hours each night and got up early to lay in our beds and chat some more. We both felt that the Lord connected our hearts for a reason.  Well, Kari and Jason have decided to move their entire family to Uganda, permanently.  They started their own ministry, Healing Faith, that will be based out of Jinja, Uganda…right by Canaan’s. Their goal is to bring healing to Uganda through spiritual healing, physical healing, and emotionally healing.  The latter part of the name is because they are taking a GIANT leap of faith by moving a family of 6 there and after their firstborn daughter, Faith that passed away.  They are truly such a wonderful family and a blessing to me in so many ways.  In January, they will be moving to Uganda to go to a missionary school for six months.  While they are there, they will do training, Jason will work in a medical clinic, and the children will be homeschooled. After their training is done, they will be coming back to the Jinja area where they have partnered with an organization ran by a man named Lufafa.  Originally this was not their plan, they were going to go to Jinja for six months and see where the Lord leads this…but obviously he made his plan clear.  Lufafa is a registered nurse in Uganda and opened a free medical clinic in order to evangelize while patients received their care. Connected to this medical clinic, he attempted to start a children’s home. Both have fallen through, considering he makes zero income.  Kari and Jason will be helping them start and run the medical clinic and children’s home. They are SO excited!!!

Over the summer, Kari and Jason asked if I would be interested in moving with them when I graduated. After spending two weeks in Uganda with Zach, falling in love with the children, and bringing our hearts even closer and more connected, we had a conversation about the possibility of me heading to Uganda for more long-term. Obviously, he needs to finish school and our hearts are bothin Uganda with the children that we left there.  So here it is, the Lord has asked me to go to Uganda for at least 6 months when I graduate, starting in the beginning of July. I will be an intern for Kari and Jason…basically doing anything and everything…including photography for the ministry, working in the clinic, taking care of the orphans, and TEACHING. They have over and over again referred to the new children’s home that will be started as “our” children’s home and feel so excited to have me come and live with them and serve together. They will be renting a large home that is extremely nice and I will be living there as well.  The best part of it is…they have also asked my roommate, Rachel Lovejoy to come with me!!! She is beyond thrilled…her story is just as great and you can read about it on this blog as well! We will be blogging on here during the preparation of our trip and while we are living there! It’s crazy how the Lord works and brings people together!

I know many of you are wondering why I am not taking a job here in Illinois right after graduation and how my future career will be corrected. The simple answer…I have to have faith in the Lord and his plan…everything happens for a reason and this is the path he is leading me on. It will all work out! Here is the long answer…I have talked to many professionals about this and how it will affect my career. They have all told me, including my mentor teacher that if I ever want to go…I need to do it now, not try to get a job for a year and then go. Jobs will always be here, still try your best to get yourself known by as many people in the district as you can. She also said it will look GREAT on a resume.I want each of you to know that this decision no way affects Zach and I. We have made this decision together and are 100 percent supportive of each other.  He feels that if he can’t be there, loving on the orphans because of school then I need to be. We are ready for whatever this leads us to…whether adoption, working for a non-profit, starting our own, or serving the Lord in America wherever we are needed. But for now, we BOTH feel that this is where I am being called to.

We are looking at plane tickets in the first week of July, shortly after Zach’s sister’s wedding.

I know that this seems crazy and 2 years ago… you would have NEVER thought this would be me but I am learning that sometimes having faith, makes you look kind of crazy!  I am completely humbled and at awe that he would send me, meek little me, to spread the good news! But when you tell him “here I am, use me however you wish” he takes you seriously, what a beautiful thing! Wherever he sends me, I will gladly go!